How I Went From Obsessing Over Tinder to Being Disgusted

When Tinder first came out, I was a huge fan. It seemed like a great tool to be able to use to meet new prospects of either hookups or real relationships. According to the description in the app store, it states that, “Tinder finds out who likes you nearby and connects you with them if you’re also interested.” For those of you who are not familiar with the logistics of Tinder, the way it works is you sign up through Facebook so that your accounts can be connected. The idea is that Tinder accesses your likes and friends so that when you are being matched with people, you can immediately see if you have any mutual interests or friends. You can put a few parameters for what you’re looking for: ie male or female, distance, and age and once you set those parameters, you are given an influx of people to choose from. From that brief introduction to the person, along with a few selected pictures and a quick bio, you have the chance to either “swipe right” (yes) or “swipe left” (no). The key here is that you only gain access to chatting with the person if you have both mutually consented by swiping right.


what will you choose?

The reason I loved this app when I first discovered it, and at the height of my addiction, four months ago, was because it was pure fun. For a single girl like me, it was great to be able to log on and see this endless possibility that if I wanted to, I could pursue anyone I found on Tinder. That’s the thing: there are so many options on Tinder and unlike other dating sites or real life (ew), you don’t have to deal with people hitting on you that you at least don’t okay first. Sure, it might seem superficial to let people gain access to talking to you mainly based on the way you look, but let’s be honest, isn’t that the way it is at a bar or club, or even just on the street? Tinder gives you access to creating relationships (I use that term loosely) that wouldn’t exist otherwise. You can sit in your bed looking like crap after a long day and possibly make connections with someone you would have never met any other way, other than chance.

So that’s great and all, but here comes my issue, and it’s not the usual, “you’re judging people by the way they look” argument. I mean, yes that is a factor, but it really isn’t what bothers me the most. What bugs me is the way Tinder makes you feel. Sure, for some people it’s great because you know that almost every time you swipe right, it will be a match.

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So exciting when this pops up

But here’s my issue: We are basing our worth on how many Tinder matches we have. Take for example, two of my friends who are guys who have a competition to see who can get more matches. Like when did that become a thing, because it needs to stop. We aimlessly swipe right and left, as if it’s a game. But doesn’t it defeat the purpose if you spend all day swiping on Tinder but never make the effort to actually talk to the people you once “liked”?

To me, it doesn’t matter if you’re looking for someone to hook up with or if you’re trying to find the love of your life, but as long as you’re actually talking to the people you’re swiping, then that’s what its all about. Take for example the fact that I actually went on a date with a guy I met through Tinder. For some reason though when I told me people that I was going to do that, they were shocked. That’s when it clicked for me that Tinder has become a place that’s almost like the early version of Facebook’s “hot or not”. It’s now all about how many matches you have (aka how hot you are) instead of a forum to make connections.

It’s fine to use Tinder in any way you see fit, but understand what your motives are going in. Because after a while, you’ll begin to see that even if you have a high number of matches, you’ll feel unfulfilled that no one initiates conversation, or almost worse, when they do, it’s creepy.

With that, I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite “Tinder Fails” because we have to admit, some of them can be pretty damn funny.

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I’ve never thought about this until now!                             I wish cat people got more credit.             It’s probably best not to mention your wife… #awkward

And then one that TWO of my friends got recently:

“Damn girl, you so cute, I just wanna douse you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado!”

What are your thoughts on Tinder? I’d love to know!

In my next post, I’ll be exploring one simple way to boost your confidence and happiness. So if you’re feeling a little blue because of Tinder, make sure to check it out!